The Glorious and The Dubious: Sports

GLORIOUS.

1. Oregon 58, Miami 56.
Oregonmiamiofohiobasketball Our hometown number three seeded Ducks advanced to the second round, despite the Red~~skins~~Hawks making the only half-court buzzer beater in 32 first round NCAA tournament games. Fortunately for us, their buzzer beater only made them lose by 2, instead of 5. Well played, Miami. Go home. You lost to the eventual champions. Aaron Brooks played extremely well, and demonstrated great poise and leadership down the stretch. With the Ducks up by one and under a minute to play, Brooks drove the lane, got fouled, and swished two free throws to give the team a three point lead. It still took Maarty Leunen's two more free throws with 2.8 seconds left to seal the deal. If he missed one or both free throws, the game would have gone to overtime on the aforementioned buzzer beater. If Tajuan Porter shoots better than 2-for-7 in the next game, which seems likely, the Ducks will be in good shape to win.

2. VCU 79, Duke 77.
This is Eric Maynor, a sophomore at Virginia Commonwealth University. When this shot went through the hoop, it put his team ahead by two points over Duke University with about 2 seconds remaining. Christian Laettner watched helplessly from the sidelines, and Duke lost. I love it when Duke loses. (maybe that makes me a "racist black panther"... Huh?).

3. March Madness On Demand.
Live streaming video on the internet of every game as it happens, subject only to the blackout of your regional affiliate game. This let me see more first round tournament action than i've seen in years. And it also keeps the games available for viewing in full after they end, which let me relive the glory of the Duck victory. The internet era is all about instant nostalgia.

4. Number 11 seeds.
12 seeds have gotten all the glamour for too long. Between VCU and Winthrop, the tournament strikes a blow for prime numbers.

DUBIOUS

1. Stanford being in the tournament.
If you look at the score (Louisville 78, Stanford 58) you'd think that this was a sound beating. You'd be wrong. It was a humiliation. The Cardinals of Louisville undressed the Cardinal of Stanford, proving what anyone who watches the Pac 10 regularly knew all along: Stanford had no business being in this tournament. I love the Pac 10, but Stanford is just not a good team this year. I'm a pacifist, but this should have been Air Force.

2. Number 12 seeds.
Illinois, Long Beach State, Old Dominion, Arkansas. You let me down. Especially you Long Beach State. I had you sneaking into the sweet 16 out of fealty to my California cousins, and you embarrassed yourselves against Tennessee. Tennessee is not that good. You also let down all the number 12 seeds from years past, who had managed to win at least one game for the last several years.

3. CBS.
You really hit it right with March Madness on Demand, so why did you ruin it by failing to broadcast only one game on Friday: Oregon v. Miami. I understand that west coast audiences were subjected to Price is Right reruns in its stead. Just for that, I will NOT get my pet spayed OR neutered and I will NOT control the pet population.

4. Non-Tournament Bonus: U.S. Attorney firings.
"Mistakes were made." Who are you kidding? You did this totally on purpose. My favorite news bit about this so far is that Arlen Specter reported to NPR that he was upset that Patrick Leahy chose to subpoena Department of Justice officials because a subpoena "implies guilt." No. A subpoena "implies" that you have to testify whether you want to or not.

That's all for now.

Go Ducks Go.
Fight Ducks Fight.
Go.
Fight.
Win Ducks Win.

-ALEXANDER

When I was living in New York City, I went to see bell hooks give a lecture just after her book on love was published. It wasn't a book talk per se, it was more of a sustained cultural critique with her recent book as a background. During the Q&A after her talk, someone asked her what she thought of Harry Potter as a pop culture phenomenon. Her response (which I am paraphrasing from memory so please excuse the concomitant loss of eloquence) was something like:

Why do you ask? Is it because it is a typical story of cultural imperialism with a white male protagonist who has to conquer all the scary "different" people? On that level, it's complete bullshit. But sometimes, you have to just say, "Ok, this is bullshit." And then you can enjoy it. Just because something is total bullshit doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it.

When I find myself enjoying various cultural productions that I know are complete bullshit, I remember that lecture and somehow feel less cheap for enjoying Kangaroo Jack. After all, if bell hooks can suspend her critical gaze, why can't I?

This is topical today because we're on the eve of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, the best annual sports event in the United States. (Those who claim it's the best sporting event in the world are flatly wrong, as that title rightfully belongs to the FIFA World Cup.) On one level, Division I college athletics are an exercise in gross exploitation of young men and women in order to generate revenue and profit for large colleges and universities. This is dubious. But on another level, this tournament allows small colleges to generate some attention, some revenue, and some recruiting cachet by defeating larger schools with better endowments. This is glorious. The Xavier Muskateers beating the Georgetown Hoyas in 1990. The Santa Clara Broncos defeating the Arizona Wildcats in 1995. The Jimmy Valvano-led N.C. State Wolfpack defeating the mighty Houston Cougars (led by future Trailblazer Clyde Drexler) for the championship in 1982.

The tournament also brings out my glorious partisan feathers. For the first time in four years, the Duck Oregon Ducks have been invited to participate in the Tournament. With a 26-7 record, a number 10 ranking in the AP poll, a six game winning streak, and a Pac-10 Conference Tournament championship, the idiots in charge of making the brackets had just enough sense to give the Ducks a number 3 seed. This means that they play the 14th seeded Miami University in Spokane, Washington on Friday to open the tournament. The Ducks have played Miami before, but the last time they played them, in 1938, Miami was known to one and all as the Miami University Redskins.

Unlike their counterparts in the National Football League, Miami University decided that the name Redskin is patently offensive and degrading to the only true historical natives of the United States, peoples that the whiteskins all but exterminated through centuries of deliberate genocidal conduct, so they changed their mascot, in (ahem) 1997, to the RedHawks (allonewordbutwithtwoCapitalLetters). Miami is in the tournament by virtue of a lucky three-point bank shot in the last seconds of the final of the Mid-American Conference tournament, bumping favored Akron out of both the NCAA Tournament and (astonishingly) out of the N.I.T.

Ducks1939champions_2 So like I said, these two teams have met before. 68 years ago, the Ducks vanquished the Redskins by a score of 74-38 in a game played in Cleveland. Significantly, the Ducks went on to win the NCAA championship that season. I expect nothing less than the sound of history repeating.

And it could, quite literally. If the bracket plays out according to my plan, the "Wandering Webfoots" would "Whip Ohio State" in the national title game (after beating the Miami RedHawks (nee Redskins), the Winthrop Eagles, the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (who did us the favor of beating the Wisconsin Badgers - sorry Hersch), the Florida Gators, and the Kansas Jayhawks along the way).

If this seems unlikely, it's because it is. But it's not impossible, nor would it be unprecedented. As recently as last season, the number 3 seed in a region went on to win the national title. I don't know how Maarty Leunen would fare against Greg Oden, to whom he yields six inches of height and an exponential amount of talent (Leunen's good, but he doesn't kid himself about an NBA career; Oden is next year's likely number one draft pick), but this is the tournament. Anything's possible.

Just because it's total bullshit doesn't mean we can't enjoy it. That, my friends, is the glorious and the dubious.

Here's a little rundown of the latest outside of the gymnasium:

GLORIOUS

1. The Numero Group. The little reissue label that could, hailing from Chicago, has just surpassed my already high expectations of them. AGAIN. Their 2CD reissue of songs originally on Chicago's Twinight label has just hit the shelves. Do yourself a favor and pack your lunch for two days next week so you can justify the $22.99 ticket price. I know I will.

2. The Public Library. They have two things that will keep me coming back. 1. A really great children's section/play area that my daughter loves. 2. A really great CD selection that manages to stay remarkably current. (Rhino's "What it is" Funk and Soul Boxset anyone?) Go hug a librarian.

3. Strom Thurmond's family owning Al Sharpton's family. Storysharptonthurmondap
I just can't get the image of Sharpton standing next to Thurmond with a thought bubble over Thurmond's head thinking, "I own you (or at least I used to)." I wish I had better (any) skills with photoshop or I'd try to make this happen. And then the way that the AP story just casually mentions that Thurmond has a biracial child with his housekeeper, it's just perfect comedy. Who needs comedians when you've got the news.

4. February being over. It really kicked my ass. I felt like Strom Thurmond owned me there for a minute.

DUBIOUS.

1. Hannity & Colmes trying to smear Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. I'm not going to link to their drivel on this site, but the basic gist is that Hannity has decided to declare that Trinity United is a black separatist, racist, hate church that isn't even Christian because it's declaration of principles contains such statements as "Support the Black Family. Support Black Institutions. Support the Black Work Ethic." Well guess what? It's a BLACK CHURCH. Do you wonder why they are singling out one of thousands upon thousands of black churches in the country that ALL have supermajority black parishioners and ALL support the black family? I'll give you a hint: Barack Obama is a member. Trashing a black man's church for being too black is as dubious as it gets.

2. Hillary Clinton chasing Barack Obama to Selma for the 42nd anniversary of the first Selma March.
Guess what Mrs. Clinton? He's blacker than you are.

3. Mos Def releasing an album without any cover art.
True_magic Now I've stood behind Mos Def over the years, even when a lot of people started claiming that he sucks. I like Black on Both Sides (Rawkus 1999); although it hasn't aged that well, I like the Black Star album with Talib Kweli (Rawkus 1998); and I like The New Danger (Geffen 2004). The New Danger is a big conceptual sprawling mess, but it feels like he's trying to accomplish something; several things really (trying to channel Marvin Gaye, establishing that rock music is black music, staying current with rap trends). His reach exceeded his grasp, but it was a well meaning, if not noble, attempt. But this new album, True Magic (Geffen 2006), just seems like a half-assed joke. While I understand the significance of cross-marketing, I don't have to like it (and for the record I don't like it - I love the Stones Throw label, but that doesn't mean I want to read Egon's interview with MF Doom and Madlib to support Stones Throw's Madvillainy release - it was like reading someone trying to get a bong hit from his friends, one of Wax Poetics' few major missteps). If I want to go to Mos Def's website, I'll go to his website. But don't force me to go there to get the damn cover art, track listing, and liner notes for your CD. What am I going to pay $16.99 for? A shitty plastic jewel case with a glorified CD-R inside? No thanks. I'll save my money for the latest vanguard squad release. (According to allmusic, Geffen plans to re-release the album with artwork after a few months. Whatever.) To quote L-boogie, "You just lost one."

4. If my nose is kinda stuffed up and kinda runny in the Springtime, but I generally feel fine, does that mean I have allergies? Who gave me allergies? And when? And how do I get rid of them besides blowing my nose a dozen times a day?

I'M BACK.

--ALEXANDER.